A Life Lesson From My Dad

Most days, around noon, I visit my dad and spend the lunch hour with him. A few weeks ago, as I approached his table, I could sense that he wasn’t quite himself. Instead of eating his lunch, he was standing up and rearranging the empty dishes on the table.

I stopped and he looked up. He said “What do I do with all of these?” With a dismissive wave of my hand, I said “Oh, just leave them there. The cook in the kitchen will clean them up.”

Well, if looks could kill, I wouldn’t be here to tell the tale. With a stern tone in his voice, he said “THAT is NOT the RIGHT attitude.” Boy, was I told.

The years flashed backwards and I was an 8 year old girl being scolded by my dad. Of course, he was right. Thankfully, I had a tool in my toolbox to pull out and use.

I said, “I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right. That is the not right attitude and I should not have said that.” He replied, “No, it’s not the right attitude.” Again, I repeated, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t right of me to say the cook will clean up.” With another stern glance, he said “Okay, then, let’s go for a walk.”

When I told Teepa the story, she said, “You said what? What were you thinking?” I answered, “I know. Clearly, I wasn’t thinking. It just came out of my mouth.” She said “You know he was a cook for 30 years right?” Yes, I do remember that.

The message he was giving me was that you work hard and you respect other people who work hard. You don’t leave work for others that you can do yourself. That is rude and disrespectful. I was raised better than that.

He was more Diamond than Ruby in that moment. He was clear and sharp. He knew right from wrong. He was a pastry chef in a hotel kitchen and worked long hours planning his menus, preparing the pastries and cleaning up his work space to do it all again the next day. At home after he retired, he kept a spotless and meticulous kitchen. These were lifelong habits of his. He maintained a certain work environment. And then along comes this snotty nosed woman who tells him just to leave his dirty dishes and that someone else will clean up.

Thank you dad for teaching me a life lesson that I needed to hear that day. I will carry it forward and remember always to respect others, treat them as I would like to be treated, and to do what I can to leave a place better than how I found it. You are still my dad and I am never too old to learn from you.